By Steve Flairty
NKyTribune columnist
I’m already looking for Morgan Alexander as I arrive at LA Fitness at the Palomar Centre, Lexington. It’s 6 pm. It’s been a challenging day, and I’m tired.
I get my membership card scanned, receive a perfunctory “thank you” from the young person at the desk, then trudge some 30 concrete steps on a u-path to the second floor. I’m a fitness walker, and the 1/16th mile oval track awaits me. On this day, I’m not excited to be there. Remember, I’m tired.
My eyes scan the track, looking for my friend. Not there, and I’m thinking it may be an off night for him. After a half minute, though, a youthful-looking, solidly-built 35-year-old man emerges and ambulates toward me from behind a treadmill, where he likely had been conversing with someone. He has a slight twist in his gait and a light-hearted expression on his handsome face. Now nearby, squinting and his head tilted a bit, he raises his right hand high, palm open, and we exchange high fives. It’s Morgan, and now I’m not as tired as earlier.
“How are you, Steve Flairty? Maaan, what are you doing?”
“Hey Morgan,” I say, feeling more pep than I’ve shown in two hours. “You surprised at the Bengals game? They look like the real deal.”
“Why you say the Bengals look like the real deal?” Morgan asks, voice rising.
“I just think they are playing pretty well, Morgan, don’t you?” I anticipated the next question, and I was ready to ask it first. “Defense was really good, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. Why you say you think the defense was good?” Morgan responded.
“Well, it was just…”
My evening was now kick-started. It was the start of our conversation on that evening, and it continued that evening for about 45 minutes; it always does when we meet and walk together at the gym. When our schedules are not interrupted for other life activities, I look forward to my Tuesdays and Thursdays with Morgan.
Morgan and I have become good friends. We often finish each other’s sentences because we are now so connected, though our most engaging topics of conversation are relatively sparse in number. They’re usually sports-related, with the subjects being Paul Laurence Dunbar High School, Bengals, UK and EKU sports, the Reds, and…more Dunbar sports.
Morgan has also supported my writing projects in a big way, and he is quite informed about my many stories of heroic Kentuckians. That, in part, is another conversation topic for us. A few years ago, I showed my appreciation by dedicating my Kentucky’s Everyday Heroes for Kids book to “My walkin’ buddy, Morgan Alexander.”
I was excited, also, to brag on him at the book event at Joseph-Beth Booksellers, where he sat at the hero recognition table.
We met about eight years ago at this fitness center. The best I recall, a former local college basketball player was walking the track with him and engaging in some—What else?– sports talk, and I joined in the chatter. With that, Morgan and I started a dialogue that has lasted for all these years.
Soon after the acquaintance, I learned from his parents, Doug and Phyllis Alexander, with whom Morgan lives, that their oldest son lives with a developmental condition called autism spectrum disorder (ASD). In Morgan’s case, his diagnosis came at age 8 and was characterized as: Mild autism with moderate to severe mental and physical developmental delays. The condition manifests itself, but is not limited to, difficulty with social communication, repetitive or fixated patterns of behavior, and difficulty in occupational and other important areas.
Sure, I see those particular characteristics in my friend every time we meet. And, Morgan doesn’t mind, in a very honest and matter of fact way, to discuss the condition. Knowing that, it helps break down any unnecessary tensions in our relationship. I am blessed, too, that in a world where many are happy to talk non-stop about themselves, Morgan often defers to making our talks mostly about me. He shows intense interest in what and how I’m doing, and that may necessitate my answering a lengthy series of questions from him. That takes a little getting used to, but I see it as a really nice thing for one to show so much interest in me, and quite unusual.
And frankly, it can get a little addicting, too.
Morgan and I also interact, on occasion, in other places and at other times. When I visit at the South Elkhorn Christian Church, Lexington, where he is a member, I am greeted by Morgan and he hands me a bulletin. There, he is popular and loved greatly. He is also a great ambassador for Brewster McLeod annual event, the Jesus prom, at Southland Christian Church.
At the funeral visitations for my deceased parents in February and September of 2013, Morgan traveled nearly two hours with his parents to offer condolences. At a sporting event, such as a UK football game, he’s as emotional as any fan, and that can sometimes lead to an outburst. To Morgan, his favorite team is his friend…and friends can be a cause for expressing emotion, can’t they?
And speaking of sports team allegiances, the folks who follow Dunbar High School teams know that #1 fan status goes to Morgan Alexander.
Morgan was a student at Dunbar from 1995 through 1999. On his third day in attendance, he failed to come home on the school bus.
“We found him in the gym watching the football and basketball players practice,” said Doug Alexander.
Morgan had taken his last school bus ride home. He was hooked on Dunbar sports, and that meant extra-curricular time for him at school.
“He spent every day after school at practice of one team or the other,” Doug continued.
Morgan became even more enamored when Mike Meighan, the varsity football coach, invited him to be a student training assistant for the 1998 football team. Years later, Morgan is proud that he has been in attendance at over 600 Dunbar football and basketball games. He was recognized several years ago by the booster club and was given a jersey with his named embroidered on it.
Tracy Lovan was Morgan’s special education teacher at Dunbar all four years he attended. She spoke of his sports fascination, something I hear every time we talk.
“Morgan was able to remember stats from athletes representing various teams at PLD,” she said. “His brain worked in such a way that he was able to update their stats immediately in his head and retain numbers for an entire team. The athletes loved him and he was a joy to have in class.”
And that’s most often the kind of feedback I get when I ask people about my friend Morgan. Here are some responses I received recently after I posted on Facebook about doing an article on him:
A very nice young man who always remembers your name and asks about family.
Morgan’s full of love for those around him.
Always a happy camper.
Dunbar’s #1 fan. Morgan always puts a smile on your face.
Instantly puts me in a good mood every time I see him.
And many others shared similar sentiments. Danny Minke, who now lives in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, has known Morgan for a long time. He expressed his thoughts like this: “I was in Boy Scouts with Morgan as well as grew up with him at church, and he has taught me so much about humility and perseverance. I can’t express how much he means to me.”
It’s a little hard to express my feelings for Morgan, too. My best way is to say that every once in a while, a person comes along who lifts us up onto their joy cart and beckons us to travel with them. For me, the trip with him is well worth it.
Note: Morgan participates in the Expressive and Wellness program and Fresh Approach at Employment Solutions, Lexington (employmentsolutionsinc.org). The Expressive and Wellness Program enables people with developmental disabilities to “engage in various forms of creative expression, community exploration, culinary arts, horticulture, studio arts, dance, music and physical fitness.”
Fresh Approach “utilizes a workforce consisting primarily of people with severe disabilities to process fresh vegetable and fruit products custom ordered by restaurants and food distributors.”
He also participates in the Community Living Supports (CLS) program which provides personal assistance to teach Morgan independent living skills. Among other things, as a part of that program, he volunteers at Embrace Church and Restore. For more information, visit http://www.employmentsolutionsinc.org/
Steve Flairty is a teacher, public speaker and an author of six books: a biography of Kentucky Afield host Tim Farmer and five in the Kentucky’s Everyday Heroes series, including a kids’ version. Steve’s “Kentucky’s Everyday Heroes #4,” was released in 2015. Steve is a senior correspondent for Kentucky Monthly, a weekly NKyTribune columnist and a member of the Kentucky Humanities Council Speakers Bureau. Read his KyForward and NKyTribune columns for excerpts from all his books. Contact him at sflairty2001@yahoo.com or visit his Facebook page, “Kentucky in Common: Word Sketches in Tribute.” (Steve’s photo by Connie McDonald)