By Steve Flairty
NKyTribune columnist
Has anybody seen Suzanne’s blow dryer? Or what about those important documents I lost during all the excitement?
Similar perplexing questions have been flying around daily in my life during the last six weeks or so. Yes, yes. So, under the heading “Life Changes in a Huge Way,” let me tell you why the changes are labeled huge in this guy’s realm.
First, at 62 I recently became married to Suzanne Isaacs. We’d dated and been close friends for well over a decade. We decided it was time to come together permanently, a few years after each of us experienced the losses of our parents in a span of less than two years, 2013 through 2014.
Those family challenges taxed each of us and required a singular focus. During such, I observed Suzanne carefully as she navigated those obstacles. Besides the two of us having a naturally good relationship, I was impressed with the way she administered loving care to her parents as they aged while holding down her position as a vocational rehabilitation employment counselor for the state of Kentucky. I also marveled at how she helped raise her young granddaughter, Lily, while the tot’s mother finished college. I also respect the fact that she is a two-time cancer survivor—a fighter. Suzanne is made of good material, for sure, and is a good influence on me.
But even after the family kinds of responsibilities lessened for both of us after our parents’ passing, the fact that I was finishing another book (a contract biography for a family patriarch), writing a weekly column (Kentucky by Heart), and various other writing activities kept me plenty busy. However, now preparing for the marriage ceremony, moving furniture out of each of our Lexington townhouses to fit into a new house–along with marketing the townhouses to sell-—would require a serious life-path change from the daily writing schedule, at least for a while.
We decided in May to have our wedding on July 10 on the floral grounds of the Waveland Museum State Historic Site, Lexington, a beautiful place where I once engaged my fourth grade students on a field trip. Our ceremony would be a low-key and private one, inviting close relatives and their significant others. We asked a preacher friend of mine, Dean Brewer, to conduct the proceedings.
From early May to July 10, however, the impending wedding was mostly a vague thought for both of us. Other, seemingly more urgent, things were transpiring. We found a nice house and lot in the Versailles area, not far from the Fayette County line. The place answered our wants and needs well, giving us privacy, a nice yard to tend (something I missed over the past decade), and plenty of house space for Suzanne to decorate.
We bought the house and I moved in first. We agreed that Suzanne would come after the wedding. Our townhouses in Lexington were put into real estate hands and surprisingly, mine received two offers to buy in the first two days. A stipulation of the first offer was that I would agree to give possession to the person by the end of June, a few weeks away.
I originally figured that I’d have six weeks or more to move out, but this caught me by surprise, and I had to drop the in-process writing assignments–including the Kentucky by Heart columns—-in order to make it happen. Fortunately, my editors at KyForward and nkytribune.com were very understanding, allowing me to rerun columns for the period.
Partly because I was reluctant to ask busy friends to help and partly because my peer group members are aging, like me, and a bit less able to carry heavy things, I did the bulk of the moving by myself, not counting the big items by a moving company. Most taxing was carrying boxes of books averaging 20 to 30 pounds. Seventy boxes came from my townhouse basement, which stored thousands of copies of my own published books, namely the Tim Farmer biography and all five of the Kentucky’s Everyday Heroes series volumes. My skinny legs are now quite tired, but also are noticeably more toned.
I’d rather be writing, however.
Unfortunately, the contract offers on my townhouse were withdrawn, as there were some inspection issues cited needing attention. That was a mental downer, and it necessitated more spending to address the problems, including a new heating and cooling system. Soon, I plan to relist the townhouse and find a happy buyer. The place was a wonderful place to live, and I wrote four books there. Now it is a distraction…and an expensive one. It’s on to Versailles.
Suzanne, fortunately, closed on her townhouse a few weeks ago. That was after we spent hours packing and moving her stuff, including innumerable items from her parents’ estate that were parked in her relatively small living space. Now married, we spent a one-week “honey move.” I figure if we survived that obstacle, we have it easy going forward. (Just joking about that!)
Each of us will remember, hopefully, not the struggles of the time, but things that will seem funny later. Suzanne wondered for days about where her blow dryer was located among the dozens of boxes. “People think I look like ‘Cher (Bono),’” she remarked.
For my worry, a carefully written binder full of useful information for our Versailles home, developed with care by the previous owner, was left in an Enterprise rental vehicle we used for the move. Along with that, other important information regarding the closing details was onboard, too. I was sure that someone would find and throw it away, say, another car renter down in Texas. To recreate the resource would have been highly troublesome, another stress not needed.
Fortunately, to my profound relief, the bag of gold turned up at the location dropped off in Versailles. I unashamedly hugged the service rep right there in front of her office.
Then, there was another bit of adventure. On the day of Suzanne’s moving, the company hired drove over and knocked down a beautiful stone pillar alongside our driveway as they pulled away from our home. We are awaiting the company’s fixup promise to be fulfilled. One estimate was $900.
Instead of all that drama, I’d rather be writing.
And so it is. Major life changes are often risky business, but also often worth it. That’s the hope for Suzanne and me. We have a lot of things to put away and rearrange, but most of our stuff is now in our Versailles home. It will take a good while to get it organized—or find it another home. I still have a townhouse in Lexington to sell. We’re getting used to each other and also a new community. Most tell us that Versailles is a real nice place, and so far it seems true.
I’ll likely be writing less in the solitary now, and will have a useful sounding board nearby. That fact could well protect you, the reader.
As the smoke clears, I look forward to sharing more Kentucky by Heart experiences, and now with a partner to vouch for them. That is, if we can keep track of Suzanne’s blow dryer.
Steve Flairty is a teacher, public speaker and an author of six books: a biography of Kentucky Afield host Tim Farmer and five in the Kentucky’s Everyday Heroes series, including a kids’ version. Steve’s “Kentucky’s Everyday Heroes #4,” was released in 2015. Steve is a senior correspondent for Kentucky Monthly, a weekly NKyTribune columnist and a member of the Kentucky Humanities Council Speakers Bureau. Contact him at sflairty2001@yahoo.com or visit his Facebook page, “Kentucky in Common: Word Sketches in Tribute.” (Steve’s photo by Connie McDonald)