Weekender: More Kentuckians, mostly grandparents, are taking in children of family members

By Mark Hansel
NKyTribune Contributor

Joann and Danny Daulton had been together for more than a decade when they decided to get married in July of 2013.

With five children from previous marriages between them, they were reluctant to tie the knot again.

“We just kind of waited for all the kids to get older and I was scared of marriage, so we put it off for a while,” Joann Daulton said

Joann’s son, the youngest of those children was finally in high school, however, and the time seemed right. Both had steady jobs and they were looking forward to enjoying life as empty nesters.

In October of that year, however, they got the phone call that would change their lives forever.

Danny’s son, who was 22 at the time, called to tell them his girlfriend had overdosed on heroin and had given birth to a little girl by cesarean section.

Jordynn Raelynn Marie Dalton, who was nine-weeks premature and weighed only 3 pounds, nine ounces, was not breathing and had to be resuscitated at birth. She was born addicted to heroin, with cerebral palsy and severe brain damage, as well as liver and kidney damage.

“At first, the kids weren’t being honest with us and the hospital wouldn’t tell us anything because we weren’t the parents,” Joann Daulton said. “When we finally did get some answers, they told us the first 24 hours were critical and they didn’t think she would survive.”

Jordynn did survive, but spent the first 46 days of her life in the neonatal intensive care unit.

In November, the Daulton’s got another call from Danny’s son.

“They said they needed to talk to us, so we met them at the hospital and he asked if we’d take her temporarily until they got straightened out and on their feet,” Joann Daulton said.

They agreed and the next day Joann went in to work and told her boss she needed to take a temporary leave of absence.

She has not been back.

Joann and Danny brought Jordynn to their modest townhome in Warsaw, Kentucky on Nov. 18 and she has lived with them ever since.

The Daultons are among a growing number of Kentuckians, mostly grandparents, who have taken in a child, or children, of a family member. More than 59,000 children in Kentucky are being raised in what has come to be known as kinship care.

Not all face the challenges Jordynn has and not all of their parents are addicts, but the number of children in the Kentucky Caregiver Support Program has mirrored the spiral in opiate abuse in the Commonwealth.

Janet Stickels, who runs the program for the Northern Kentucky Area Development District (NKADD), said many grandparents take in more than one child.

“It’s kind of a two-to-one ratio in the eight Northern Kentucky counties served by the NKADD,” Stickels said. “It’s pretty devastating because you hear all of the horrible circumstances in which these families get these kids.”

The program started in 2006 with $59,508 for 52 grandparents and the number of children was not yet tracked.

“At that time, I had to go and recruit families because we had the funds available,” Stickels said.

“Now, I don’t even have to look and we don’t have enough money to go around.

Last year, Stickels got 88,879 for 123 grandparents and 254 grandchildren.

In fiscal 2015, which ends in July the program is expected to serve 149 grandparents, with 278 children.

This year, there are also 60 grandchildren on a waiting list that Stickels does not yet have funds for.

That number is not representative of the number of grandparents raising children, it is just the number of families that meet the guidelines for the program.

“They have to fall within the 150 percent poverty guidelines, the parent cannot be living in the home and they cannot be receiving kinship assistance, which is $300 every month,” Stickels said. “They don’t want them going into the system or into foster care, so if they have the option, many of them take the children in. I had a conversation with one woman who already had several grandchildren and they had two more that she couldn’t take in and it just broke her heart.”

Stickels recently got a call from a family that just took in three grandchildren, but they have about $4,000 in monthly income, so they are not eligible for assistance.

Families can receive up to $500 per child in the form of a voucher that can be used for items such as clothing, furniture, car seats and high chairs. The average is about $300 per child.

The Daultons recently joined the list of families that have custody of more than one grandchild.

Kailynn Daulton, who is two months old, was born to the same parents as Jordynn and was also addicted to heroin at birth. She does not appear to have any other health problems, but the Daultons have also taken her in.

“You do this to one kid, then they have another one and she’s not as bad, but she’s still a drug baby and (law enforcement officials) haven’t done nothing,” Danny Daulton said. “If you go out here and give a kid drugs you’re going to get busted. Well if you are doing heroin when they are pregnant, you’re still giving it to them and they don’t do nothing.”

Joann Daulton said Jordynn and Kailynn’s mother was charged with dependency after the first birth and neglect and dependency after the second.

“She has never spent any time in jail and I don’t get that,” she said. “Jordynn has a life sentence.”

Danny Daulton worked at eBay in Hebron before Jordynn was born.

He has since taken a job at Dorman products, an automotive aftermarket supplier in Warsaw, so he can help with the kids.

Since taking in their grandchildren, the couple has had to get help from a local food pantry on occasion and has received assistance with utility bills.

“It’s a struggle, but we’ll get there” Joann Daulton said. “If we hadn’t have taken Jordynn, there is no telling where she would have ended up.”

Jordynn has shown a lot of progress in 17 months, but she still has a long way to go. She smiles a lot, especially when Danny holds her, and while her physical limitations are obvious, Joann said she is good natured most of the time.

Doctors initially told the Daultons she would always need to get nutrition through a feeding tube, but Joann has gotten her to take a bottle. She now weighs slightly more than 14 pounds and is 27 inches long.

“She has a lot of issues and that keeps her from wanting to eat because she’ll get to coughing and bring back up what she has eaten,” Joann Daulton said. “They say if she ever walks it will be a miracle, but she’ll never walk, she can’t even control her head.”

Danny Daulton said he suspected his son was using drugs, but did not know heroin had such a strong grip on him.

“I kind of knew he was smoking marijuana as a teenager, but they pulled the wool over our eyes with this heroin,” he said. “My advice to parents out there is if you suspect your kids are doing any kind of drug, put a stop to it early. People think it’s a big-city problem but we’ve had several overdose deaths in (Gallatin) county in the last year.”

Terry Brooks, executive director of Kentucky Youth Advocates, said kinship care in Kentucky has doubled in the last decade.

“It’s a tsunami in Kentucky and no state has seen a higher increase in kinship care,” Brooks said. “I would say substance abuse is a major contributor, but it’s certainly not the only cause.”

Several other factors, he said, including poverty, and physical and sexual abuse, have also contributed to the spike in children being taken care of by family members other than parents.

In 2014, the Kentucky General Assembly passed legislation that allows those providing kinship care access to school and medical records. The bill was an important step because often kinship care involves informal or temporary custody and many of the children suffer from medical or behavioral issues.

“The challenge is not to identify why kinship care is growing because I think we already know that, but to help and support relatives,” Brooks said. “The state needs to support kinship care at least in the same manner that it supports foster care.”

The Daultons, meanwhile, have put their dreams of becoming empty nesters on hold, probably forever, but they have no regrets.

“We’ve had to rearrange our lives, but we never thought twice about because it’s just what you do,” Joanne Daulton said. “I don’t think we will ever be able to afford it, but we would like to take the kids to Florida some time. It would be nice for them just to be able to see the ocean.”