So, youse is a tough guy because youse jog, huh? Buddy, lemme tell ya, you don’t know tough.
Jogging’s not so tough. I mean, youse might stub youse toes on a curb, right? Ha. Or maybe get splashed by a puddle while waitings for the light to change? Ha. That ain’t tough.
Youse know what’s wicked tough? A tough muddah, dat’s what. Go figure. It’s right dere in da name. So it’s gotta be tough, you knows?
Lemme tell ya how tough it is. It’s got mud. It’s got tings ya gotta climb ovah. It’s got wartah — da stuff that mixes with dirt to make da mud. It’s got electric wires strung ova da wartah. Now, dat’s tough. There’s a whole bunch of ‘em out dere, with da mud, da dirt, and da wartah. And dere’s more comin’ to town.
Now me? I don’t know too much about ‘em. So I asks around, and I find this guy, he’s like an expert. He not only knows all ‘bout ‘em, but he’s run like a million of ‘em.
His name? Kevin Jones. He’s like an old dude — pushin’ 50! Can you believe it? And he still plays in da mud! But he’s an electric engineer, so I guess he’s smart.
And tough. Ya know how tough he is? He broke his freakin’ back when he ran his second muddah. Seriously. But he came back again and again and again, even when he broke his collah bone.
He tells me we should call ‘em Obstacle Course Races. Dat includes most of the races people know about. The top five are called the Tough Mudder, Spartan Race, Savage Race, BattleFrog, and Warrior Dash. Dey include runnin’ on trails or mud and goin’ through or around obstacles. But dere all a bit different, he said.
Warrior Dash is a less than three-mile race with about 12 easy obstacles, he said. Tough Mudder is a 12-mile event with about 15 huge obstacles that require teamwork to accomplish. Spartan Race has three levels between five and 15 miles, with lots of hill climbing and heavy lifting. “Think of Crossfit in the woods,” he said.
Savage Race has obstacles at up to six miles. BattleFrog, probably the most challenging event, has an open race at five miles, an elite at 10 miles, and an extreme at as many miles as you can do in one day, he said.
“I prefer Savage and BattleFrog,” he said. “They are the most ‘bang for your buck.’ Ultimately, OCR is an event for everyone. Anyone can do it. There is no specific demographic. … This is what makes it the greatest sport of our time because it is not exclusive or selective.”
Heck, dey even lets girls do it. Girls like my niece, Vikki Hart, who lives just outside of Yonkahs. That’s in New York. It’s a tough town, I hear.
“Yes,” she said. “Oh this is my jam. … I prefer the Spartan sprint. It’s challenging but not impossible, and the obstacles are fun.”
And she ain’t da only one who says dat.
“Every time I do a race, I seem to overcome something, or challenge myself in a new way,” said Alison Hontanosas Wheeler of Cincinnati, who wrote this blog post about her love of da sport: http://strongisoursexy.com/mud-run-girls-arent-afraid-dirty/
As for Jones, he ran his first race in June 2012.
“Since that first event, OCR has become my passion, obsession and reason for staying fit and healthy,” he said. “Not by any intent, but I have somehow been listed as one of the most influential people in OCR for the last two years. In 2012, I started a Facebook group for OCR enthusiasts that has grown into one of the largest … with more than 2,100 members.
I personally believe OCR could save the American people from being one of the fattest, most unhealthy nations on the planet.”
See, I told you dis is one serious dude.
“I have participated in 80 of them,” he said. “The brands that I prefer are the local, home-grown brands instead of the corporate road shows. They typically have more to enjoy.”
And, he says, Kentucky is getting more of dese races. It’s had a few ovah da years, including da Kentucky Mudfest in Maysville.
“In comparison to surrounding states, this is a very low number of events on an annual basis,” he said. “That will be changing this year, with BattleFrog being held in Louisville, and Conquer The Gauntlet holding its first event east of the Mississippi at General Butler State Park (in Carrollton). … Kentucky’s natural terrain makes it a great location for events, if the event organizers can get the people to come to the events.”
Stephanie Erskine Rath of Cincinnati said she likes the different experience each race provides.
“I’ve done a Mudathlon 5K that was extremely easy; it didn’t take much longer than a standard 5K, and I’m pretty sure my 10-year old could do it without any problems,” she said. “My two Tough Mudders were around 12 miles each, and they were difficult, but still took less than three hours. With the help of some strong friends, I was able to complete every challenge but one and felt good.
“My hardest by far was the BattleFrog. At only five miles, I went in assuming it would be similar to the Tough Mudder in difficulty and would take maybe an hour or so to finish. Four hours later I finally finished. There was little to no running. The terrain was insane. The obstacles were brutal (and probably not very safe). It was much harder than a Tough Mudder. But I’ve already signed up for another.”
That’s a familiar refrain.
“I like the extra challenge, and less of doing the same thing the whole time,” said Dallace Marable of Florence. “Getting dirty is almost always fun too. I am already signed up for the Indiana Sprint this year.”
John Engel of Covington says the mud races are addicting.
“I did mud races for the first time last year,” he said. “I never thought I’d like doing them, but it’s like running a marathon — as soon as you are done you swear you’ll never do it again. Then hours later you are signing up for the next one.”
Amie Sexton of Alexandria said she’s done some of the larger and the smaller races, including something called Mudocalypse. She’s always looking for a new mudding experience.
“For me it’s all about the friends and the fun,” she said. “I have met so many great people while on my fitness journey, as well as building even stronger bonds with old friends.”
Paul Long writes weekly for the NKyTribune about running and runners. For his daily running stories, follow him at dailymile.com or on Twitter @Pogue57