Financial gurus can’t seem to agree on the question of whether married couples should keep some of their money separate or not. Having all of your money in a joint account necessitates frequent communication about financial matters. However, keeping some of your money in separate accounts can actually be a good thing for your marriage.
Having separate accounts for your discretionary spending money fosters a sense of responsibility and freedom. In a marriage relationship, there is usually one person who is more naturally inclined to handle the majority of the financial transactions for the household (paying bills, balancing the checking accounts, and making transfers to savings or investment accounts.)
There’s certainly nothing wrong with this, as long as the couple is having regular conversations (at least monthly) about the family finances. However, if the less involved spouse has at least one account that they’re wholly responsible for, it ensures that they are engaged and educated about the basics of money management.
The other bonus to having your fun money in your own account is that you have the control to spend that money as you please without owing an explanation to your husband or wife. Just be sure to decide as a couple in advance how much money will go to each spouse’s discretionary spending account every month.
When you’re part of a blended family, having some money in separate accounts can be very beneficial. There can be a great deal of fighting and disagreements between spouses when step children (and even grandchildren) are in the picture. Not only do parenting styles differ, but also spending choices.
Sometimes it helps for husbands and wives to agree on a total amount to spend on “her kids” and “his kids”, and then each parent decide how to allocate that total between their own kids and the various categories. If you’ve already agreed to the total amount and are sticking to it, then there’s no reason to bicker over the details!
Let me close with a few disclaimers:
I do think married couples should keep the majority of their money in joint accounts.
If you’re married and are still keeping all of your money separate, it might be a sign of trust issues which should be talked over with a counselor or therapist. Deliberately hiding credit cards or even savings accounts from your husband or wife is a terrible idea.
I also firmly believe that spouses should have access to ALL accounts, even if they don’t normally exercise that access.
The reason a couple may want to separate some of their money is to reduce – not increase – disagreements over spending.
Do you and your spouse keep all of your money together or do you keep some of it separate?
Christine Luken is the Financial Lifeguard and a veteran Meal Planner. She helps individuals, families, and entrepreneurs design a financial road map to help them arrive at their Preferred Financial Destination. You can find Christine’s blogs, podcasts, and videos on her Financial Lifeguard website and her Meal Planning Monday blog.