By Dr. Michelle Smith, Ph.D.
University of Kentucky
Growing up has never been easy. Being a teenager can feel like a roller coaster. One minute life is fun, and the next it feels like everything is falling apart.
Teens today face pressure to wear the right clothes, make the right friends and get good grades — all while their bodies and minds are changing. Mood swings, eye rolls and even slammed doors may be part of the territory, but how can adults know when those behaviors are typical and when they might signal something more serious?
What’s normal?
Most teens go through phases where they seem moody or pull away from their family. They may want more time alone, get annoyed easily orhave reactions that may seem too strong for the situation. . These shifts can be frustrating for parents, but usually they are short-lived and connected to stress, school or social life. In most cases, teens bounce back once the stress passes.
When could it be more serious?
Sometimes changes in mood or behavior last longer and get in the way of daily life. This can be a sign that a teen needs extra help. Warning signs include:
• Irritability or anger that feels constant or extreme
• Moods that last a long time, seem intense, or out of character
• Losing interest in friends and hobbies, without finding new ones
• Noticeable changes in sleep or eating habits
• Sudden drops in grades or school attendance
• Talking about self-harm, feeling useless or saying the world would be better off without them
Any talk of suicide or self-harm should always be taken seriously and needs immediate attention.
How to start the conversation
It can feel scary to bring up mental health with a teen, but open, calm conversations make a big difference. Adults can create safe, supportive spaces by:
• Picking a quiet, private time to talk
• Asking open questions like, “How are you doing?”/ “What’s been on your mind lately?”/ How have things been for you lately?”
• Keeping the focus on listening
• Avoiding judgment or quick solutions
• Being prepared for more than a single talk
• Bringing it up again naturally “Hey, remember when we talked about stress last week? How’ve things been since then?”
• Being ready to listen if your teen reaches out later
Even if they don’t share much at first, knowing you’re there and willing to listen builds trust. Showing steady care and patience can make a difference.
Getting support
Parents and caregivers don’t have to do this on their own. Doctors, school counselors and mental health professionals can step in to help. If you ever feel a teen may be in danger of hurting themselves, reach out right away:
• Call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
• Text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
Early action can prevent problems from getting worse. Supporting teens through tough times takes patience, but they don’t have to face it alone, and neither do you. Caring for yourself as a parent or caregiver matters too, because when adults have support, teens benefit.
Dr. Michelle Smith, Ph.D., is a psychologist at Kentucky Children’s Hospital