It’s that time again, ladies and gentlemen. Join us now for another thrilling episode of The Adventures of Tail-Gunner Jamie, All-American, as he battles for truth, justice and a “very credible” suspected Chinese spy, while simultaneously “having to fight the Department of Justice,” “the FBI,” the “liberal media” (Boo! Hiss!) and “Democrats” as he single-handedly endeavors to bring down the evil Biden Crime Family empire.
Once again, we find our hero, the mild-mannered Rep. Jamie Comer, R-Whereverhehangshishatishishome, transforming from the congressman most likely to be mistaken for a member of the “Hee-Haw” cast into an avenging angel, cape flapping in the breeze, fists planted firmly on hips. While he may be a laughingstock, a walking, talking human punchline in search of a joke, our boy valiantly blunders on, more than content to make a fool of himself for the public’s amusement.
This time the misadventure involves some cat named Gal Luft, an American-Israeli think-tank director, author and professor who, by gosh, serves as an honest-to-goodness Rosetta Stone for the Tail-Gunner, holding the secrets of the Biden syndicate that, with God’s will, he can relate to the House Committee on Oversight and Accountability, which Jamie chairs, and bring down these dastardly criminals.
On May 14, appearing on Fox News – the Tail-Gunner’s home base, sort of like his Bat Cave – Jamie told Maria Bartiromo that he had an informant that could unmask the true head of the crime family – President Joe Biden – since he was involved with Biden’s son, Hunter, in some shady Chinese business deals.
Only one problem, Jamie sheepishly acknowledged – he lost him.
“We’re hopeful that the informant is still there,” Tail-Gunner said, although exactly where “there” might be was left open to speculation. “Well,” he added, “we’re hopeful that we can find the informant.”
Curses! An unfortunate turn of events for our hero, sort of like losing your car keys. But fret not, dear readers, Jamie abides, and he will persevere.
Maybe.
The Case of the Missing Informant attracted jeers of derision toward our hero on MSNBC, a left-leaning news network. Joe Scarborough, a former Republican congressman from Florida who hosts a morning program, offered a jibe back in May when he said, “Come on, you lost an informant … You lost the informant, the guy that you claimed gave you all this information that you built this entire charade on.”
Tail-Gunner didn’t take kindly to the scorn, Appearing on Newsmax, another favored right-wing outlet on July 6, Jamie defended his tattered integrity, proclaiming “No, he’s very credible, and the people on MSNBC who made fun of me when I said we had an informant that was missing. They should feel like fools right now. And this is their worst nightmare because, again, this is a credible witness…”
He just, well, couldn’t locate him. The GPS doesn’t work all the time, after all.
Which brings us to the present day and, Voilà! We sort of know where Gal Luft, aka “The Informant,’’ is.
He’s on the lam. He’s high-tailing it. He’s gone AWOL.
And could be anywhere on the globe.
Gadzooks!
So, here’s the lowdown. Luft has been indicted by a federal grand jury in Manhattan on eight charges, including failure to register as an agent for the Communist Chinese government, aiding Chinese companies seeking to buy weapons, brokering sales of Iranian oil despite sanctions imposed on the Tehran government and, finally, for lying to federal government authorities.
“As alleged, the defendant engaged in multiple schemes to evade sanctions and laws intended to protect our national security,” Christie M. Curtis, an acting FBI assistant director said in the press release.
It all adds up to, potentially, a whole lot of years for Luft in the Big House. This, ladies and gentlemen, is Tail-Gunner’s “credible witness.” And, like the Scarlet Pimpernel, he’s here, he’s there, he’s everywhere.
It gets even better. Jamie’s informant was arrested in Cyprus on Feb. 17, as the result of a warrant issued by Interpol for suspicion of weapons trafficking. Pending extradition, he posted bail and took off like a big bird, fleeing Cyprus and is now in hiding. He has been missing since March 28.
In a video posted by The New York Post on July 5, after his escape from Cyprus, Luft said his arrest was intended to stop him from appearing before Comer’s House Oversight Committee where he intended to testify that, among other things, the Biden family received payments from individuals with ties to Chinese military intelligence.
“I, who volunteered to inform the U.S. government about a potential security breach and about compromising information about a man vying to be the next president, am now being hunted by the very same people who I informed — and may have to live on the run for the rest of my life on the run …” Luft said.
Poor lad.
Tail-Gunner, being the loyal sort, jumped to his informant’s defense, asserting on yet another Fox News show, this one hosted by Laura Ingraham, on July 10, that the Department of Justice is picking on poor Gal.
“The timing is always coincidental, according to the Democrats at the Department of Justice,” Comer said. “It’s just amazing the Department of Justice moves so quickly against some people.”
Alas, the DOJ didn’t exactly move “so quickly” in this instance. Luft was indicted by the federal grand jury on Nov. 1, 2022 – before the general election that gave Republicans a House majority and eventually propelled our hero, the Tail-Gunner, to assume control of the House Oversight and Accountability Committee, the chamber’s primary investigatory panel. Luft was arrested on Feb. 17, less than a month after Comer assumed control, based on an Interpol warrant regarding arms trafficking in Libya and China.
The only thing DOJ did was unseal the indictment, which had been confidential for more than eight months.
So, the lowdown is Tail-Gunner is basing a lot of his case on a source under indictment for arms dealing and working in behalf of the ChiComs who is a fugitive from justice who is citing wrongdoing on the behalf of the Biden Crime Family to take pressure off of his own legal predicament.
Who could possibly have a problem with that?
Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-MD, the ranking member on the House Oversight Committee, also known as the “smart Jamie” on the panel, wrote a letter to Comer asserting that an investigation should be launched “into whether the Committee may have been unwittingly duped by Mr. Luft in furtherance of the CCP’s interests, as well as any potentially false statements made by Mr. Luft to Members of Congress or congressional staff.”
“It appears as if Mr. Luft sought ‘whistleblower’ status from you in an effort to defend himself from criminal prosecution while a fugitive from justice,” Raskin wrote. “Worse yet, this latest episode also raises concerns that Mr. Luft may be manipulating your investigation not only for his own self-interest but perhaps also in furtherance of the CCP’s efforts to undermine U.S. security interests and the President of the United States.”
Gee, wonder who the “dupee’’ might be.
Things have not exactly ventured down our hero’s merry way lately. His claim that President Biden, aka “The Big Guy,” in his underworld parlance, accepted a $5 billion bribe from a Ukrainian oligarch for some unknown service has hit a brick wall, with the oligarch professing that he never met the dude. And there is nothing to show – zilch, nada – that Biden rendered any executive decisions to benefit his family’s bottom line.
Our boy the Tail-Gunner is like the man standing in the middle of a field surrounded by bow rakes. Every time he tried to move he steps on the rakes teeth and the oak handle flings up and pops him in the mush – over and over again.
So, remember to tune in next time for another exciting episode of The Adventures of Tail-Gunner Jamie, All American.