By Steve Flairty
NKyTribune columnist
I’ve never met anyone who has come close to my brag for standing as “best man” a total of six times. Readers, please advise me of others who might match or exceed this number. I’m curious.
The first assignment came while still in college, when my EKU roommate and lifelong friend married his high school sweetheart. The time of the ceremony was a bit unusual, taking place on a Friday night. My always wisecracking friend and groom, Jim Palm, noted that he chose Friday because “if it doesn’t work out, we won’t blow the whole weekend.” Incidentally, it did work out, with Jim and Beth Palm having been married for over 50 years and not one of those weekends being blown.
Then there was the pleasure of standing with my brother, Mike, also a former college roommate — for a short while, tsk, tsk.
A few years afterward, I was best man for a couple I’d introduced. I hesitated when first asked because their whirlwind courtship scared me. I wondered if the marriage would last after things seemed to happen so fast. I finally agreed after realizing their decision was ironclad and the best thing to do was to support them. Nearly five decades later, their marriage appears stronger than ever.
About that same time, I got asked late to sub for a friend’s best man who dropped out, reasons unknown by me. My groom friend stayed at my apartment the night before the wedding, got up out of bed that morning and fixed eggs for our breakfast. Should I not have done that for him? Second string best man or not, that marriage has also lasted close to five decades.
I also served as best man for a guy I went to high school and college with, but honestly remember little about it, other than the wedding was held in Richmond. Life happens and my friend and I lost touch. I heard that he passed a few years ago and I’ve tried to learn the details but haven’t succeeded.
Then, lastly, I did the honors for a longtime friend who married a woman with two children. It was a gutsy move by my friend, and he became a great stepfather, along with making a wonderful choice for a spouse.
Interestingly, I haven’t worn a tux for that purpose again for over forty years.
Curious about wedding stories from other Kentuckians, I reached out.
Garett Wilson, of Lexington, did the “do it yourself” honors of a marriage ceremony he won’t soon forget. “I officiated at a wedding for a couple of my dear friends,” he said. “The proposal for me to do so was sudden but I accepted. I did my research, got my certificate and card, which is shockingly easy, and started writing (the service).
“The hardest part wasn’t writing in the ‘Tree Ceremony’ the bride wanted. No. The hardest part was the moms. Both of their moms had conflicting opinions on how things should be done, all on the (same) day of — so that just added to the chaos. Well… other than my friends getting hitched.
“I went on to be the MC at the reception because the planning was poor and no one else was stepping up, let alone (for me) being qualified to fill the role. All in all, probably the performance I’m most proud to be a part of despite the maroon suit… but I still have it hanging in my closet.”
Nicholasville resident Rita Setness showed remarkable grace to a confused person in the church right before her wedding ceremony. “Just as the music started for me to walk down the aisle,” she explained, “a man in a wheelchair rolled up in front of me, stopped, looked at me for a minute and asked, ‘Are you the bride?.’ So, I just quickly, politely, and with a smile said, ‘Yes I am, and I need to walk down there now!’
“He rolled on his way, and I sedately walked down the aisle to join Michael. And that’s how I met Michael’s Uncle Rudy.”
Things happening on wedding day, we all know, aren’t always controllable, as Debbie Slatten, of Versailles learned years ago. Since Arnold and she had been married before, they decided to simplify their ceremony by doing short and quickly it at Jellico (TN). “It was Valentine’s Day, 1986,” she said. “It was snowing to beat the band. We made it there and agreed we wanted to get married in a church. The pastor’s wife asked if I wanted her to walk me down the aisle.
“I think I’ve got this one,” Debbie replied. “As soon as we got married, we decided to head back because of the weather. Just after we crossed the Tennessee-Kentucky state line, they closed the interstate.”
They DID get back home, however, and the wedding process ended on a high note.
“Our company, the old Rand McNally, had a Valentine’s dance the next evening,” Debbie continued. “To celebrate us, they pushed us both into the pool at the Continental Inn — clothes, boots, and all.”
In February, the couple will celebrate their 40th anniversary, and they’re hoping the weather is good. That, and they would probably like to stay away from a swimming pool.
Former Lexington resident Susan Gall relayed an amazing story of a wedding day tradition going back generations in the Gall household. Husband Randy’s parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents were wed on September 8. Susan’s parents were married on September 8. Naturally, Randy and Susan were married on September 8. And to top it off, all had candlelight ceremonies at 7:30.
Thankfully, Susan added that there were NO divorces from that group.
Sandy Hart, of Ballard County, said it this way: “Met on a blind date neither of wanted to go on. Spent every day together for six weeks and a day. Eloped with two friends as witnesses. Sixty years later, we just renewed our vows.”
Good friends can make all the difference in life, and former EKU baseball star Ray Spenilla and his newlywed, Jennifer, discovered that during their time of nuptials. The story is a bit lengthy, so I’ll summarize it.
Ray noted that they “were so broke on our wedding day that I took my first year’s Kentucky teachers’ retirement out to put money down on a small house.” His soon-to-be-wife paid for the rings.
At the time, Ray was playing on a touring softball team and the team’s sponsor offered to pay the couple’s post-wedding expenses if he would play in an important Fourth of July tournament. In short, their honeymoon would be spent playing softball on the road, with their expenses paid. “It was better than nothing,” Ray emphasized.
But there was more to come. The couple was chauffeured for three hours by a teammate to the site of the tournament. Ray put his ball uniform on and handed his ring to his wife for safe keeping while he played. After playing two games, the two realized the ring had been lost. His wife was devastated and began crying uncontrollably.
“Doug, our team manager, came by our hotel room about an hour or so after the second game ended and saw her crying, and he adamantly said that he would ‘search the whole night’ if he needed to and would find this special love token,” Ray said.
Ray and Jennifer, however, were doubtful, as there was a complex of fields and area to search.
The next morning at about 8 a.m., Doug showed up with the ring. Ray and his wife were speechless. Doug, a serious hunter and tracker, used his elite skills to find the ring on the ballfield grounds. Being humble about it, Doug refused to share how much time he invested in the search.
Now celebrating nearly fifty years of marriage, Ray noted that there have been plenty more “strays from normalcy,” but ‘there are too many examples to list here.”
And getting back to my “six-time best man” brag, let me know if you can “best” it.