This column on bullying in schools will run periodically on KyForward.
By Melissa Martin
Special to NKyTribune
Parents, please read this article to your kids and then go to www.stopbullying.gov and watch videos of kids talking about bullying and animated videos. Discuss bullying prevention and intervention with your children often. Invite your kids to read about bullying at www.pbskids.org.
Olweus and Limber conducted a study on bullying with more than 520,000 students in grades three through 12. They found that as children age they are less likely to tell a teacher, other school personnel, a parent, a sibling or friend. In third grade, 36 percent told teacher, 50 percent told parent, 49 percent told sibling/friend, and 18 percent told no one. In grade 12, 23 percent told teacher, 23 percent told parent, 36 percent told sibling or friend, and 47 percent told no one.
Why are some youth silent about being bullied? Peers who tell might fear being called a snitch. Young children might believe teachers or others will call them tattlers. Boys might fear appearing weak. Kids might fear that bullies will threaten retaliation. And when kids do report bullying to adults and it continues, they believe the bullying will not stop.
In this same study, younger children felt sorry for peers who were bullied; however middle and high school students expressed less sympathy for bullied peers. Fewer than half of elementary students said they would try to help bullied peers.
Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth, children with disabilities and socially isolated adolescents may be at an increased risk of being bullied. Children with special health care needs or chronic diseases (diabetes, muscular dystrophy, spina bifida, atopic eczema) are more frequently bullied. Overweight and obese youth may be more likely to be bullied. Children and adolescents with learning disabilities are at a greater risk of being teased and physically bullied, compared with other children. Adults can help children accept themselves and others regardless of body shape, size, weight, height or appearance.
Bullying often occurs out of sight from adults; bathrooms, hallways, bus, or playground. Teach children the antibully buddy system. Students can pair up with friends in these “hotspot” places. Encourage children to safely stand up for bullied peers, befriend shy students and sit with bullied peers on the bus.
Parents can talk to bus drivers and suggest assigned seats. Find information on training for school bus drivers regarding bullying intervention and prevention at the School Bus Safety website.
Parents can ask older siblings to check in with bullied younger siblings during school hours if possible. Sisters and brother can be allies at school and at home.
Parents need to regularly discuss cyberbullying with their children. Talk about social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Talk about text messaging and emailing. Create ground rules for computers and cell phone usage.
Resources for parents
www.ncpc.org
www.pta.org
www.cyberbullying.us
www.bullyingeducation.org
Sesame Street Workshop provides a video of Big Bird addressing the topic of bullying. It provides helpful materials for conversations with younger children about bullying and appropriate behavior in school and social settings.
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration developed KnowBullying, a free smart phone app. It provides parents, caretakers, educators and others with information and communication support to help prevent bullying and build resilience in children. Their research shows that 15 minutes a day of focused conversation with a child about issues related to bullying can help build self-esteem and prevent bullying.
Conversations about bullying prevention and intervention begin at home. Parents have a vital role in teaching safety and social skills, empathy and sympathy qualities, and how to report bullying to adults and safely stand up for self and for peers.
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is a child therapist, consultant and educator in Wheelersburg, Ohio.