By Steve Flairty
NKyTribune columnist
We Kentuckians sometimes get a bit spiteful toward each other when it comes to discussing our political views, most recently in regard to the approaching presidential election.
I tend to avoid being involved because quite often, it’s overly emotional and fruitless… along with using up time better spent doing productive things. And when it starts wearing on me, I shift to focusing more on gratitude for the kind things others do, and have done, for me over the years.
Doing so makes ME a little less spiteful, and it feels good to chase gratitude and kindness rather than poking at people.
In 1975, after graduating from EKU and taking a teaching job in the new surroundings of Clark County, an in-law, George Schnorr, made a special trip from Northern Kentucky to Winchester and patiently spent all day helping this nervous kid find a place to live. It was one of the kindest things — of many –that I ever experienced. That good man died a few years afterward while battling the curse of a brain tumor, but his kind actions will remain memorable and provide for me a model of service to follow.
I reached out to others to hear their heartfelt stories of being treated with a special kindness and to share them with you. Maybe it’ll get our minds off the election (at least, the nastiness) for a short while.
A person from Versailles, Wendy Wilhoit, told me about loving actions she received after her husband died unexpectantly at age 51. Those came from her sister, Dabney, and Dabney’s husband, Bobby, who live in Paducah. The two bought her a new condominium and a new car. “That’s just how they are, and because of them and Jesus, I strive to be better each day,” said Wendy.
I did my first published writing back in 1974 while attending EKU, reporting sports for the school’s student newspaper, The Eastern Progress. One of my assignments was to interview Ray Spenilla, a star baseball player at my school, who some thought was good enough to someday play pro ball.
Being a rookie reporter (and 20 years young) with little confidence, the thought of interviewing a “big man on campus” kind of guy made me nervous.
I met Ray in his dorm room. He held a baseball bat in his hand, appearing to be practicing his swing. Immediately, I figured a guy like this must have a one-track mind, likely quite shallow. But within moments, my thinking changed. He demonstrated a soft-spoken humility, almost self-effacing. We talked about his baseball success, but he seemed as interested in me as in himself. He was articulate, respectful, and full of graciousness. Somehow or the other, I left the interview feeling like I was the campus star. Ray—with an amazing perspective on life–boosted my confidence by his attentiveness to both my questions and me personally.
Ray, now living in Virginia, went on to experience a long and successful career as a teacher and baseball coach, and in 2013, was inducted into the EKU Athletic Hall of Fame. He already had standing in my personal Hall of Fame of good people.
I caught up with Ray recently and he seems not to have changed. He told me that “the number of kindnesses rendered on my behalf are many . . . (allowing me) to enjoy a wonderful amount of opportunities to ‘pay it forward.’ First, it was a grandmother who cared for me so very many times when my parents divorced three days before Christmas when I was 8.”
Ray also mentioned his high school guidance counselor, who “relentlessly encouraged me to go to college” and later “a college coach who kept me when I was a walk-on among forty plus others.”
Not surprisingly on the day of his Hall of Fame induction, he didn’t make it all about himself. “EKU would have made it fine without Ray Spenilla, but Ray Spenilla would have not (without EKU),” he said at the time. Today, he notes that he is “supremely thankful for the numerous opportunities afforded me because of my time there.”
Ray has taught me that gratitude and kindness hold each other up nicely.
A former Kentucky school superintendent, Jim Palm, recalled an experience he had as a third grader when he wanted to attend a summer YMCA camp. The problem was that his parents were short on money. “So, one night that spring my grandparents, John and Barbara Palm, were visiting our home. My sister and I were sent to bed around 8pm because it was a school night,” Jim said.
A little later, the young boy was awakened when he heard his grandfather say his name.
“He waited for me to wake up and whispered to me, ‘Hold your hand out,’” continued Jim. “He put the entire amount of money I needed for camp in my hand and closed my hand. (He) leaned over to kiss me and told me he loved me and (to) enjoy my summer camp.”
His grandfather, Jim explained, had grown up very poor as an immigrant’s son in the inner city of Cincinnati and never had the opportunity to attend such a camp. “He always wanted a better life for his grandchildren,” said Jim, “a belief that I continue for my grandchildren.”
Joyce Burnette, of Lexington, got right to the point about a meaningful gracious act given to her. “Without a doubt, it was when my second husband and the rest of his family followed in our heavenly father’s footsteps by accepting me with open arms, just as I am.”
I hope that I haven’t come off here as hopelessly sentimental by sharing these stories. In these contentious times, appreciating the good things we have and treating others with an uncommon kindness may be the only way we get through such contentiousness without permanent damage being inflicted.
And by the way, who has been especially gracious and kind to you? Contact me at sflairty2001@yahoo.com and share your uplifting remembrances.