Opinion – Bill Straub: True, believers? Trump says he was ‘saved by God to make America great again’

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the prophet from Mar-a-Lago.

For weeks now, the United States has been operating under the misassumption that Donald J. Trump was elected president on Nov. 5 because 77 million dewy eyed Americans voted for him.

Oh, ye of little faith.

That’s not the reason at all. As Trump himself pointed out in his lugubrious inaugural speech on Monday, he was selected to serve a second term as the most powerful man in the world because he was hand-picked by God himself.

Recalling that he was the target of an assassination attempt in Butler, PA, on July 13, Trump said:

“Just a few months ago, in a beautiful Pennsylvania field, an assassin’s bullet ripped through my ear. But I felt then and believe even more so now that my life was saved for a reason. I was saved by God to make America great again.”

Now, you may think it odd that, among 333 million Americans to choose from, God would settle on a dude who, from all indications, has little if any familiarity with the Ten Commandments and couldn’t even slog through a Classics Illustrated version of the Bible, presumably because there were too many words and not enough pictures.

What’s more, for some inexplicable reason, he failed to place his left hand on a pair of Bibles held by his wife, Melania, when he took the oath of office, odd since his sponsor, God, reportedly had something to do with the authorship.

(To be fair, Trump did, after all, publish his own version of the good book — available to you for the low, low price of $59.99, act now! – thus recalling the late Pete Rose who said he only read one book in his life, the autobiography he wrote. Said it was pretty good.)

Nonetheless, Trump, the chosen one, is on record as saying that the Bible is his favorite book, although he couldn’t cite a his favorite verse during a 2015 interview, explaining at the time, “The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics.”

Of course, without his saying so, it’s apparent Trump’s favorite passage comes from Deuteronomy 32:35, which begins, “To Me belongeth vengeance and recompense…’’ Even during these first days of his administration, Trump takes this vengeance thing very seriously and intends to bring the wrath of God, as the saying goes, down on those with whom he disapproves.

Very holy of him, don’t you think?

For the sake of accuracy, as you Bible scholars out there may note, the same message can be found in Romans 12:17-19, “’Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”’ says the Lord.” But that verse is basically telling folks to knock off the vengeance stuff, to “repay no one evil for evil.” That, however, is in the wimpy, woke New Testament, the section where God says you gotta love everyone, yada yada yada. Trump, obviously, is the nation’s Old Testament prophet.

Now, if you’re confused it’s understandable since God, as a ruler of the world, not just the United States, played the decisive role even though He isn’t even registered to vote here. Had God’s ballot, however He submitted it, gone in a different direction, it’s reasonable to conclude Trump would have leveled charges of voter fraud. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, that particular controversy never surfaced.

Regardless, we find that God’s choice in this case, at least as described by Trump, carries a certain amount of influence. Rather than divining someone else to carry out the dirty political work of making America great again, someone like his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, God opted for the prophet of Mar-a-Lago, perhaps realizing that Jesus, the erstwhile resident of what is now northern Israel, would be considered an illegal immigrant and, thus, refused entry, casting the election into turmoil.

America has, in the past, had plenty of presidents who carried the word of God to the masses. James A. Garfield was a lay minister for the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), a denomination whose founding, for those of you keeping score at home, can be traced to Cane Ridge in Bourbon County. And there was Jimmy Carter, who recently died at age 100, who rather famously taught Sunday school at his church in Plains, GA.

But none of his predecessors can specifically say they were saved by God just so they could serve as president, thus making America great again. Trump came up just short of declaring that he is the resurrection and the life, but as God’s designated resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, one must wonder if opposing Trump’s divine inspiration is tantamount to going against God as well. Are those heretics in Panama who want to hang on to the canal in face of Trump’s bluster defying the deity’s wishes?

Being on a mission from God, sort of like Jake and Elwood Blues, Trump felt compelled to attend the traditional inaugural prayer service at the National Cathedral on Tuesday morning with the Rt. Rev. Mariann Budde, the Episcopal bishop of Washington, delivering a sermon.

As might be expected on such occasions, Budde urged that the president exhibit empathy for beleaguered and weary sectors of the population, much as God might suggest.

“Millions have put their trust in you,” Budde said, directing her remarks toward the chosen one. “As you told the nation yesterday, you have felt the providential hand of a loving God. In the name of our God, I ask you to have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now. There are gay, lesbian, and transgender children in both Democratic, Republican and independent families who fear for their lives.”

Budde also sought consideration for undocumented immigrants, whose lives could prove hellish during the new administration.
“They may not be citizens or have the proper documentation, but the vast majority of immigrants are not criminals,” she said. “They pay taxes and are good neighbors. They are faithful members of our churches, mosques and synagogues, gurdwara and temples.”

For some reason, Trump and his acolytes took offense at Budde’s remarks. Writing on Truth Social, his social media site, Trump said the “service was a very boring and uninspiring one” and called on Budde to issue to him a public apology.

“The so-called Bishop who spoke at the National Prayer Service on Tuesday morning was a Radical Left hard line Trump hater,” he said. “She brought her church into the World of politics in a very ungracious way. She was nasty in tone, and not compelling or smart.”

Now, not to antagonize the deity or anything, but does God really want Trump to crush LGBQT+ folks under the heel of his jackboot or dispatch troops to the southern birder to do who knows what to brown people crossing in hopes of improving the lives of their families?

As Budde explained during an appearance on The View, her intent was to pray for unity.

“I also realized that unity requires a certain degree of mercy, compassion and understanding,” she said. “So, knowing that a lot of people … in our country right now are really scared, I wanted to take the opportunity in the context of that service for unity to say we need to treat everyone with dignity, and we need to be merciful. I was trying to counter the narrative that is so divisive and polarizing, and in which people, real people, are being harmed.”

Sounds reasonable. But then God, and Trump, work in mysterious ways.

But, at least according to Trump, God saved him to do all this. To paraphrase the great Lawrence and Lee, from Inherit the Wind: Extend the testaments. Let us have a Book of Trump. We shall hex the Pentateuch and slip him in neatly between Numbers and Deuteronomy.