By Steve Flairty
NKyTribune columnist
Oh, the Christmas season. It’s all about happiness, excitement, and warm feelings… right? Yes, for many it is — maybe even most — but for some, at least at various times over a lifetime, it can be a down time emotionally.
So that is why I was glad my place of worship, First Christian Church (FCC), in Versailles, recently conducted a special Friday night service called “Finding Comfort in the Season: A Blue Christmas.”
My minister, Marcus Lynn, was already aware that other churches had reached out similarly to those needing comfort, and one of FCC’s members, Sharon Tankersley, decided to champion the idea. Sharon started by asking interested members to come to a meeting to be briefed on a possible special service. My wife, Suzanne, and I showed up with many others and, emboldened, Sharon and Marcus decided to go ahead with plans for the service to occur a few weeks later.
I contacted Sharon and Marcus to get more context about the outreach. “More people than we might realize struggle around the holidays,” Sharon said. “It takes a toll and makes holiday cheer feel far, far away.”
Sharon cited a sizeable list of reasons for such struggles: loneliness, lost loved ones, family estrangement, job loss, financial woes, health concerns, socio-political stress, increased crime, and summarily, “a world in turmoil.”
Marcus, in tune with Sharon’s insights, gave specific example of why people might feel blue during the season.
“It’s another year when someone still hasn’t come home,” he said. “Another year trying to conceive. Another year that a relationship hasn’t moved. Another year when the ache is sharper than the lights are bright.”
Sharon noted the especially high expectancies of Christians at the Christmas season to be “cheerful and joyful and thankful.” Some might wonder if there is something wrong with their faith if they don’t exhibit such.
Being blue during the Yuletide season is something that people of faith DO definitely experience, Marcus noted. “In fact, they may seem to feel it more intensely because of the expectation that ‘all things will be made right’… just not yet. Waiting can take a toll on the soul like nothing else.”
On the service night, conducted in FCC’s Fellowship Hall, Suzanne and I arrived at a somewhat darkened room set up neatly with rows of chairs, along with a box of tissues sitting at the row ends. A lectern in front and a portable organ near to the front helped set a formal tone. The arranged atmosphere spoke of quiet focus, community, and the welcoming of emotions, even tears.
The service message, moderated by Marcus, focused on the lighting of “five candles of remembrance.” With each lighting and with the direction of Marcus, the gathering was requested to join in a choral response of words and song.
The first lit candle dealt with setting our minds on those “family and friends we have loved and lost, (and) others (who) are no longer present in our lives because of life changes, transitions, and broken relationships.”
With the lighting of the second candle, we were encouraged to think of the “stuff of life we have lost,” both tangible and intangible. Tangible things such as jobs, finances, homes, and health; intangible things such as loss of trust, hope, joy, or even faith.
The third candle symbolized the need to be personally introspective, to see “the person we used to be, the person we became, and the person we are now,” acknowledging that “we are a work in progress, and we long for healing.”
We were asked, with the fourth candle being lit, to “remember our hurting world” and “the heaviness of those who suffered tragedy, faced unimaginable injustices, or continue to live in war.”
The lighting of the fifth candle brought all the thoughts together with the message of abiding hope, with this narration: “In the darkest of places, we remember that God walks with us, carries us when necessary, and never leaves us on our own.”
I felt personally connected as I recalled blue Christmas seasons in my own past. Looking around at those present and knowing about some of their recent life challenges, a wave of empathy hit me—for which I was thankful. Words spoken, songs sung, and time spent meditating were good things imparted on this occasion, and all will make good traveling partners going forward.
But after all this, do we as humans need to “pick” our personal emotions to navigate the season? No, says Sharon. “It’s a failure to realize that, as complex creatures, we don’t have to choose. We’re capable of experiencing grief and pain while simultaneously feeling hope and joy.”
Sharon sees enough positivity in the Blue Christmas service that, she said, “it definitely inspires me to continue to find similar ways to make space for those in the community who are facing a season of pain.”
Sounds like a winner to me. And here’s hoping that your Christmas season will be one of personal growth… and let’s look out for each other, especially if we’re feeling somewhat blueish.