A couple of months ago, I was having a conversation with a friend. We were discussing the myriad of inter/interpersonal barriers people have to go through to begin taking steps to improve their life. (Whether that be personal/professional/financial or whatever.)
A few minutes into the conversation, he said something I will never forget. “Lee, most people know the kind of work it takes to get in shape. People don’t question what kind of work has to be done, they question whether or not the work will actually work for them. They question whether or not their transformation will be legitimate.”
I found this to be true within myself. I remember being 15 years old and being awestruck by people in the gym who were incredibly strong. Men and women who had been working out for years, and their body reflected that. I would ask them, “How long have you been working out?” Typically, they would say something to the effect of, “15-25 years.”
Upon hearing this, I was somewhat discouraged. I had been lifting weights for two years; I had a long way to go.
How to overcome doubt
Doubt, as I understand it, is questioning your authenticity. It is an internal suspicion thatyou are doing something incredibly wrong, or that you are simply wasting your time.
Overcoming doubt is not getting to a place where doubt doesn’t exist.
Overcoming doubt looks like continuing to put forth effort in the midst of it.
One of the most common misconceptions about having doubt is that its mere presence is an indication that we are doing the wrong thing. (this could be true, but by no means is always true)
More often than not, doubt is a result of not seeing the kind of progress we wish we did.
It is a result of feeling like, “my work isn’t amounting to anything.” It’s the feeling we get when we
have worked out for a year, and still haven’t lost all the weight we want to. It’s the feeling we get
when we see other people around us who have what we want, and we see ourselves as “so far
away,” the work feels pointless.
A simple restructuring of doubt
The question that must proceed from the above section is: How do I continue to do thework when the results aren’t showing up, and I feel like I am wasting my time?
The way I have found most helpful for myself, and clients, is by seeing doubt as an integral part of the change process.
Once we begin to see doubt as an integral component of the change process, we are not intimidated by it anymore. Because we are not intimidated, we are not subject to its rule over our lives. We can make decisions in the face of doubt, and overtime show ourselves that we are the kind of people we say we are. (This takes practice,)
How the restructuring takes place
1.Doubt moves from: something you avoid to something you take head on.
2.Doubt moves from: something that makes you feel insignificant to something you can
see as evidence that you are doing something meaningful.
3. Doubt moves from: something that was intimidating to something you can use to
encourage yourself. (If you do work in spite of being doubtful, I would call that courage)
This process, if taken head on, can be liberating.
Questions to reflect on
1. Do you think you are the kind of person who can make significant
changes?
2. When was a moment in your life when you were doubtful, but proved doubt
wrong?
3. How often are you motivated to act by being afraid of a poor outcome?
4. How often are you motivated to act by pursuing a positive outcome?
Lee Ramsey has a passion for fitness as a way to help people grow and change into more adaptable, capable and resilient versions of themselves. He is owner of Sanctify Fitness in Covington and a regular fitness columnist for the NKyTribune.