Dr. Meghan Marsac
University of Kentucky
Summertime can be a mix of fun and carefree moments, along with exhaustion and frustration. Kids and adults alike can get off their regular schedules, which can be both great and hard.
Connecting with kids doesn’t require all-day events or expensive trips. Taking advantage of a few moments here and there can help you stay connected with your kids and make the most of their time off from school.
As summer moves along, here are a few ideas to consider when thinking about maximizing your moments:
Let your child lead. Join your child in an activity they like. This could be tossing a football outside, reading a book they enjoy so you can talk about it, learning how to solve a Rubik’s Cube, taking your teen for their favorite takeout or attempting to join a video game. Showing your child that you are interested in what they love can go a long way in building connection. Five to 15 minutes can make a difference in the day.
Praise your child. Consider giving your child one sincere compliment a day, such as, “Your room looks great today. Thanks for cleaning it up,” or “You are really fun to talk to.” Be specific about what you notice, whether it’s how kind they were to their sibling or how they handled a frustrating moment. Specific praise helps children know what you notice and appreciate about them, and over time, those small affirmations can build confidence and connection.
Be around when your kids are around. Just being in the same space can bring connection. Talk with your kids’ friends and ask them about what’s going on with them. For teens especially, casual moments — getting ready to go out, grabbing a snack or hanging around the house — can be when they are most likely to talk. Float, but don’t hover; being nearby lets them know you’re available when they’re ready to talk.
Take advantage of drives. Summertime means kids’ schedules are packed with camp, sports and trips to friends’ houses — and they need a ride. When you take a few minutes in the car to chat, play a car game or sing along with them to their favorite song, you turn a commute into connection.
Wind down as a family. Is everyone tired after a long day? Pick a family show or movie to watch. Put away other devices and focus on the show together.
Small moments of connection may not always feel significant in the moment, but they add up. A quick compliment, a shared laugh in the car or a few minutes spent doing something your child enjoys can help them feel seen, valued and loved. This summer, look for simple opportunities to be present — the best memories may come from simply being together.
Dr. Meghan Marsac, Ph.D., is a pediatric psychologist at Golisano Children’s at UK.