Everyone has heard of the term habit and has some prior understanding of what that word means. A habit, according to the Cambridge dictionary, is: something you do often and regularly, sometimes without even knowing you are doing it.
While this definition tells us something, it doesn’t tell us why we engage in habits to begin with; why on earth would thinking creatures develop behaviors that don’t take any thought, or at least take much less thought.
Habits develop for at least two reasons:
• 1. Thinking deeply about every decision would be exhausting. (energy preservation)
• 2. Habits serve as behavioral promises to us. When we commit to a habit, what we are really saying is: I enjoy the promise this behavior fulfills.
Number 1 is self-evident; it makes sense not to think through everything in your day, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to give more thought space to complex tasks as you would to simple tasks.
Number 2, is more complicated. Take a moment and consider what you do when you get off work. (You probably have a habitual routine of relaxing/decompressing) I watch the office, or some light-hearted show before bed because it tickles my mind. Laughing prepares me to rest, and takes my mind away from the problems of the day. This has become habitual for me. So, what is the promise embedded in the habit? If I laugh before bed, I will sleep better. Therefore, I am going to engage in a behavior that is conducive to that state of mind.
What does this idea have to say about changing our habits? If we desire to become healthier, to manage stress effectively, to have less pain, have more energy, or whatever, we have to develop new habits; but, we also have to develop promises to sustain those habits.
Example
Let’s say you want to go to the gym and begin working out. You decide to go before work, but currently you are sleeping during that time. So, you will have to sacrifice sleep in order to go to the gym before work.
It is also true that sleeping in before work has become habitual. So, it would be worth asking the question: Why do I sleep in before work? No one can answer that question but you.
You then have to develop new and more compelling reasoning as to why you will now spend that time at the gym. (You are deconstructing a an old promise that has now become outdated, and developing a new one that is aligned with the person you want to become).
It would look something like this:
I sleep in before work because I am exhausted and don’t want to get up. Sleep feels so cozy and It keeps me comfortable for as long as possible. (The promise here is: sleep equals more comfort.)
Instead of sleeping in, I am going to go to the gym because I desire to be healthier more than I desire to be comfortable in the morning. (The new promise is: gym equals change.)
Lee Ramsey has a passion for fitness as a way to help people grow and change into more adaptable, capable and resilient versions of themselves. He is owner of Sanctify Fitness in Covington and a regular fitness columnist for the NKyTribune.