Here we are, the end of 2015. As I’ve reflected back over the last 12 months, I’ve both impressed and disappointed myself in many ways. I’m sure that’s something we all can relate to. Some things didn’t go as planned, others went far better than I imagined. Throughout the year there were unexpected victories, as well as defeat. There was joy, laughter, sadness and pain.
As I was think of what I wanted to share with you in my last entry for the year, my mind swirled with idea after idea. So I went back and skimmed through every article I’ve written this year for guidance.
Every week, you give me a chance to share about life, learning, and everything inbetween. Thank you! Every week when I sit down to write, I have you (the reader) in mind, and selfishly, myself. I always ask what needs to be said, and what do I need to learn?
That being said, here’s what I want you to know and take with you into 2016:
Take the time to define who you are, what you value and believe. Become really clear on you, and use that as a guide for everything you choose to do (or not do).
Make a choice. I firmly believe that we always have a choice in life. Though we may not always like the options presented, when you make a choice, own it, and own the reactions or consequences that come from your choice.
You are not a victim. If I had to pick one thought that help shift me out of any negative thought patterns, this would be it. Throughout our lives we will from time to time be victimized.There is a big difference between being victimized and choosing to be a victim. Sadness is inevitable, misery is a choice. When you choose misery, you are choosing to be a victim. Though I don’t know some of you personally, I do know the human condition is not meant to be a victim, but is meant to be victorious. Stop playing a role you are not meant to play.
Every day find gratitude. Even on your worse day, you can find one thing to be thankful for… sometimes it’s simply that the day is almost over.
Cultivate relationships. I value the people I choose to have in my life, and work to strengthen and develop the relationships that serve me most. Who is providing love, support, understanding, laughter? Keep those people in your life. Here is a simple truth, no one is successful alone! In my own life, I have a whole support system that allows me to grow and develop success in all areas of my life.
Forgiveness is a job. I wrote earlier this year about my journey with forgiveness in relation to my father. It has been an ongoing process, and one that I will write an update on soon. However, what I have learned is that old habits die hard. It was a long-time habit for me to have negative feelings for my father, and even when I say I forgive him, the work is in changing the feelings and the habit. It’s a process, but I will tell you it has CHANGED MY LIFE in more ways than I expected.
Clean up your internal mess through forgiveness. This year, as I’ve been working through my journey with my father, there have been other people, that have popped up on my radar that I need to forgive… myself included. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. It’s not worth the baggage you’re holding on to.
Take action. Little action. Scared action. Imperfect action. Just make a move, and keep taking action until you reach your goal. Action breeds clarity, and once you start, you will see that something you thought was nearly impossible is nothing more than a lot of little action steps— one right after the other.
Question your stories. You can create your reality by the stories you tell yourself. I’ve been literally rewriting the stories I tell myself about who I am. I use to semi-jokingly say, “I have Daddy issues”. What I learned was that by tell myself (and others) that I was manifesting those issues in my life. I was making those issues a reality. Now, I tell myself, I’m healing my relationship with my father, and learning about my capacity for love at the same time.
Change the story you tell yourself, and you will change your experience of life. I’ve found much of what has ever held me back is keeping the negative experience alive in my mind. Learning to change my stories has released me from that.
Love yourself most. You can not imagine (or maybe you can) how hard this one can be from time to time. When you make a decision to love yourself most, it means that you choose to honor yourself, your worth, and your integrity. When you operate from a place of self-love, it become far easier to give others the love they deserve. As humans, we are not capable to give to others what we can not give ourselves.
Have FUN! What is it all worth if you’re not having some fun? Make time for fun in your life. Schedule in the time. Make it a priority. Don’t wake up one day and realize that it’s been weeks, months or YEARS since you’ve had fun in your life. Life is honestly not that serious that you have no time for fun.
Bonus: Write things down! Your brain is not a storage dump space. I have a ton of notebooks that I keep track of all kinds of things in… gratitude, thoughts/ideas, to-do list, goals. When I write them down, it make it real, and it takes the pressure off of my trying to remember everything, and forgetting a lot of things. Get it out of your head and on paper, and you will instantly feel better.
So there are my top tips I hope you’ll take with you into the New Year.
Which one resonates with you the most?
I wish you so much love, joy and success today and in 2016! Thank you for letting me be a small part of your journey!
Colene Elridge is a trainer and success coach who offers an interactive approach to learning and development. She works with individuals and organizations that aspire to “Be More.” Colene is also a human resources professional and certified mediator. She has a bachelor’s degree from Transylvania University and a master’s from Sullivan University. More details on Coach Colene are available at CoachColene.com.