If you have read any book on habits, you have probably heard that changing slowly over time is better than trying to radically change a ton of your behavior all at once. I have found this to be true in my own life, and the lives of those I coach. (This idea of habit change/formation understands human beings to grow exponentially over time; as opposed to a straight linear progression. It is very similar to the financial term,“Compound interest.”)
The question that I am curious to answer is: Why does it work?
A new view of behavior
There is a psychological term that I find to be compelling, called, “Reciprocal determinism.” It suggests that human development occurs in a dynamic triad of: behavior, thoughts and beliefs, and the environment or system the human is a part of. This theory of development suggests that behavior does not happen in isolation, rather it is a result of the complex interaction of all three aspects mentioned above.
Example:
• Someone believes they are not the kind of person who can change their body. They think of themselves as lazy or undisciplined (beliefs/thoughts).
• Because they feel this way, they avoid talking about the gym/health or even reflecting about what it would be like to live a higher quality of life. They do this because it reminds them of,
“what they’re incapable of doing.” (behavior)
• This individual surrounds him/herself with people who won’t confront him/her. (We create an environment that reinforces our own thinking/behaving). Whenever you aim to change a part of your life, you are not just tackling behavior. You are taking on your own beliefs, your current environment, and the behavior you engage in. It is untrue to think of change as any less than this.
Your behavior, the things you spend time doing, are a representation of the interaction between your internal/external world. (This is your thoughts/beliefs and your environment) Therefore, if you want to change the things you do, you have to ask the question: “What kind of life am I believing in that is leading me to act in this way?” You also have to ask, “What part of my environment is reinforcing this way of life?”
Where we typically fail
We typically overestimate the amount we can change because we do not take into account the complexity of our own development. Who you are now, is a result of every action you have ever taken. So, if you are attempting to make serious positive changes in your life it will not happen by mere behavior modification. It has to happen slowly because we develop slowly, and we have to be patient with ourselves. It took us our whole lives to become who we are right now, so if we want to change significantly, we have to understand this.
If you want to make a serious change in your life, as these three questions:
1. What needs to change in my behavior?
2. What needs to change about my environment?
3. What needs to change about my own thoughts/beliefs?
Take on one area of your life at a time because it will be difficult. Take the smallest step possible in the right direction, and then become consistent at it. When you choose to change in this way, it accounts for your capacity to grow.
This is precisely why we advocate that all of our clients start at once a week. The point is not to go to the gym as much as possible, the point is making exercise an integral part of your life. The point is to become consistent. Consistency allows you to become familiar with the new environment, (where the behavior is engaged in) and over time your confidence that you can do it will increase. (thoughts & beliefs)
Lee Ramsey has a passion for fitness as a way to help people grow and change into more adaptable, capable and resilient versions of themselves. He is owner of Sanctify Fitness in Covington and a regular fitness columnist for the NKyTribune.