Last week a client of mine said, “What keeps me from really focusing on my health? I have been successful in other areas of my life, but this seems to be particularly difficult.”
This led into a conversation about focus, and what it means to concentrate your energy and resources towards a unified goal.
Example: If I want to sit down and write a column, I have to sacrifice time and effort to achieve it. I have to narrow my own attention at the expense of other things I could be focused on.
What we discovered, through talking it over, is that when we have not focused on something before (when the skill we are developing is new) the fear of failure is the absolute loudest.
This is certainly true, but within this line of thinking there is an illusion that we can fall prey to. We don’t just think, “I am going to be bad at this, or I am probably going to fail.” We think, “my effort will be useless. I will waste all this time and energy on something that will never pay off, and I will be an abject failure.”
Why do we think this way?
In order to focus, you have to do it at the expense of other areas of life. We only have so much attention, we are only awake for so many hours of the day, we only have a certain amount of time to live. Because this is true, there is a certain trepidation that occurs with trying to change the way we live. We want to make sure it’s worth it before we make the switch, or we want “to know” if it’s the right decision before we make it.
From a biological perspective this is reasonable. Mortal living beings want to make sure they are making the most of their time on earth; this makes sense. You should be wanting to make the most of your time, but the truth is: you are already focusing and sacrificing for something. If it is the case that you are made aware of things you need to change, (your body has gotten out of shape, you cannot walk as long as you used to, you have chronic back pain from sitting too long, ect) your body is telling you, “Whatever you are sacrificing right now, is not turning out very well.”
We think this way because we are afraid to sacrifice for the wrong thing, but if you are not comfortable with how you look or how you are living, you are acknowledging that you are sacrificing for the wrong thing.
Why does it feel so difficult?
There is no certainty that you are going to get the outcome you desire. This lack of certainty underpins our fear that all of our work will amount to nothing. But it won’t, your work is never useless.
Here’s why:
What we do and who we are not separate from one another, they are mutually influential. Therefore, if we take this into account it can transform the way we approach changing new areas of our lives. It makes us aware that sacrificing our focus is not only costly because of potential failure, but because it will fundamentally change who we are as people.
This is the decision that has to be made for long term change to take place: The fear of never changing/staying in the same place, has to usurp the fear of failing.
Questions to ask yourself:
1. What is a behavior I am willing to give up?
2. What do I fear I will lose?
3. What is a change I have been successful in making?
Lee Ramsey has a passion for fitness as a way to help people grow and change into more adaptable, capable and resilient versions of themselves. He is owner of Sanctify Fitness in Covington and a regular fitness columnist for the NKyTribune.