Much of the time, when we become aware of something we need to change, it can feel overwhelming. It can induce us into an anxious state, or provoke a persuasive internal dialogue that works to convince us that we don’t really need to do anything different. But deep down, we know we do.
Why does this happen? Why can’t we simply notice what needs to be different, implement a new behavior, and be done with it? Part of the reason it’s more complex than that, is because humans don’t engage in a behavior absent of a relationship. In everything we do, there are three components.
First, there is a justification for our behavior. (the reason we have told ourselves we are doing said behavior) Second, there is an emotional attachment which fuels our particular justification for the behavior. Third, there is the actual activity we are engaging in.
An example: I go to work, (behavior) in order to provide for my family and contribute value back into the community. (justification) This leaves me thankful, sometimes tired, but overall satisfied. (emotional response)
The process is not this linear in real time.
So, if you become aware of changes you need to make, there are three components that all need to be challenged. It is not a simple behavioral substitution; if you want to change long term, (If you desire to become healthier for the rest of your life) you will have to confront your emotional attachments, as well as the justification promoted by your emotional state.
How to change holistically
Due to everything subjected to stress, while trying to pursue change, it makes perfect sense why most people get a sense of being overwhelmed.
One of the most helpful things for me is to break it up into the smallest pieces possible; then become consistent at it.
An example: I don’t watch what I eat, never have lifted weights, but I know that I need to start doing something. I feel lethargic halfway through the day, and don’t have enough energy to get the most out of each day.
This person may feel tempted to try and watch their food, and go to the gym five days a week in order to experience the quickest results. This is a fast track to burnout. The truth is that change is very stressful; you aren’t just changing your behavior, you are changing as a human being. If we take this into account, it makes the most sense to change something small at first just to make something stick.
I may advise this person to go to the gym once a week, and take a 20 min walk everyday. That’s it, don’t worry about food, don’t worry about anything else. Simply add one lifting session in, and walk once a day. Once this becomes reflexive, then we can add more to the regiment.
If you desire to change, don’t ask yourself, “what all do I need to change.” Ask yourself, “what amount of change could I be consistent at?”
Lee Ramsey has a passion for fitness as a way to help people grow and change into more adaptable, capable and resilient versions of themselves. He is owner of Sanctify Fitness in Covington and a regular fitness columnist for the NKyTribune.