By Patricia A. Scheyer
NKyTribune reporter
Look out across an idyllic field at Tower Park in Fort Thomas this month and see 660 American flags, each one representing the suicide of a military veteran. It is difficult to comprehend the loss.
There are 660 suicides a month nationwide for military personnel in all branches of the service.
660 flags representing 660 people who served their country and then could not overcome the repercussions of their experiences and could not get the help they needed to survive in a civilian world.
It is unacceptable.
Deb Winkler lost her son Matthew ten years ago to suicide, and she has been working ever since to raise awareness to the fact that many soldiers returning from active service need significant help to return to everyday life.
Winkler tried to get help for her son, knowing he was suffering, but was told that Matthew had to ask for help himself. She told them, “he is a Marine. Do you think he is going to ask for help?”
“I don’t want people to tell me they are sorry, I want them to ask what they can do,” she said. “If you are out to eat, and you see a veteran, pay it forward, buy them a meal. If you see one when you are out somewhere, sit with them. Find out what they need, and then try to advocate to get them what they need.”
The Northern Kentucky Service Members, Veterans, and Families Suicide Prevention Coalition planted 660 flags next to the Veterans Memorial in Tower Park on Monday, with the help of the VFW Ladies Auxiliary and volunteers from the 7 Hills Church.
The event is called Flags for the Forgotten, put on by the Veterans Suicide Prevention Coalition.
This is their third event, the first being three years ago when they placed the flags at the edge of the Suspension Bridge in Covington. This is the second year for the flags to be planted at Tower Park.
The ceremony was hosted by Fort Thomas City Administrative Officer Matt Kremer, who attended in full uniform, as he is a retired Major and second in command of the 478th Engineer Battalion consisting of 579 soldiers.
The colors were presented by the VFW Post 3205 Honor Guard, and assisted by the American Legion Post 219. They also provided a 21 gun salute.
Tommy Thompson was present to play a medley of the anthems for all branches of service on the bagpipes. People stood when the branch they were in was played.
Garrett Cutajar sang the National Anthem. The city of Fort Thomas officially declared September to be Suicide Prevention Month in the city. Lynne Arnold attended with members of the Young Marines who stayed at attention.
Vynetta Bernet spoke first, talking about her experiences as a nurse in the VA Hospital in Cincinnati and the number of PTSD cases she encountered.
Retired Air Force Master Sergeant Jared Bonvell gave an emotional speech not only about his experiences in Iraq and Afghanistan, but about what happens afterward.
“When I retired, I was on 13 different medications, and I was drinking about a half gallon of whiskey in a couple days,” he said. “A lot of people look at you and wonder what is the matter. ‘You made it home, what’s the problem?’ they say. I was investigating other families and listening to the soldiers. Now, I am not against medication, but I know there is a better way than prescribing pill after pill after pill. Things have gotten better, but still have a long way to go. What can you do? You can listen, you can care, you can hug and cry.”
He said if anyone there at the event has a doctor who prescribes medicine without inquiring into lifestyle changes, eating habits, and exercise, he said “that is not a doctor —- he is a drug dealer.”
The mission of the Northern Kentucky Service Members, Veterans and Families is to reduce suicide by connecting Northern Kentucky service members, veterans and their families through collaboration, education, and advocacy. Their vision is to provide hope, education and awareness by creating relationships among the veterans, service members and families in the area.
There is a number, 988, and then press 1, or people can text 838255 to access a confidential crisis support for veterans and their loved ones.
There is also a veterans Crisis line at www.veteranscrisisline.net for anyone needing help.
The facts are undeniable. Veterans are 57 percent more likely to commit suicide than those who haven’t served. For each person who commits suicide, an estimated 135 other individuals are impacted.
Death by suicide is 100 percent preventable.
The numbers are unacceptable.
But it won’t get better without community support. The community needs to help convince each and every suffering person that the world needs them to stay in the world, and then to get help for that person so they know it, too.
There is hope, there is help.
That is the message to be learned from 660 American flags in the field at Tower Park.