Each and everyday, I work with people who are taking actionable steps to positively improve their quality of life. Over the past three years, I have begun to identify a coherent pattern with the people who make the most significant changes. I have seen people say “I want to improve my health,” and follow through.
The question I will be dealing with presently is: How do people follow through?
An honest disposition
The most prevalent quality of any person who continues to show up for themselves in the gym is that they are honest. They are honest about what they want, and what they don’t want. They have made an honest commitment to a healthier way of life because they have become so fed up with the consequences of their current lifestyle.
My wife has a client, whom she has trained for almost four years. She was overweight, unconfident, and completely new to lifting weights. However, she knew she needed help. She
began working with my wife twice a week.
Two hours a week of strength training for 2 years, and she lost very little to no weight at all. She was frustrated, she felt like her work was amounting to nothing. She felt as if all of her effort was a pathetic waste of time.
She kept training; she did not give up.
Over the course of the third year, she has lost over ninety pounds.
How did she keep going even when the results were not showing up? What keeps someone going in the face of such frustration?
This individual did not give up because she had decided that no matter what, her lifestyle previously was not something she wanted to entertain. She was done with it. She had
committed to exercise in spite of the results not coming as quickly as she (or we) thought. She had done the work of honestly reflecting about her life and saying, “No matter what happens, I won’t go back to what I was doing previously.”
This woman’s story embodies the exact same transformational pattern as anyone else who makes significant changes to their life. More than just doing the new behavior, you have to be utterly convinced that your way of life previously is not worth going back to.
Honesty is the focal point of this pattern because if you are dishonest, you will be able to convince yourself that “You know things weren’t that bad. I don’t really need to do anything different.”
Honesty means you are fed up with your previous lifestyle; not in a shameful way, but in a way that says, “I’m worth taking better care of.”
When things get hard, and they assuredly will, you will be forced to reckon with these kinds of questions. You will have these internal debates, and to keep going, you must be resolved that your old way of life was hurting you. You must also see yourself as someone worth taking special care of.
The transformational pattern
• Honestly acknowledging that you want things to be different.
• Becoming resolute about not going back to previous behavior.
• Consistently putting forth effort into a newly desired way of life.
What is especially encouraging to me about this is that once you begin to truly change one area of your life, that positive change is infectious. It is difficult to find someone truly invested in changing their health for the better and not trying to improve other areas of their life.
What is most difficult is letting our past life go. In order to pursue a healthier life, it inevitably means we sacrifice what we are doing currently. This feels like we are losing a part of ourselves, which is undeniably painful. This is where honesty is so important; you have to convince yourself that just because you have developed an attachment to a certain way of life, just because it’s comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s leading to your personal flourishing.
If you are struggling to make lasting changes, then ask the following questions:
• Are you fed up with the current consequences your lifestyle is giving you?
• Are you willing to put forth daily effort into a different way of life?
• Do you believe that your life could look a hell of a lot better than it does currently?
Those who make lasting changes have answers to these questions.
Lee Ramsey has a passion for fitness as a way to help people grow and change into more adaptable, capable and resilient versions of themselves. He is owner of Sanctify Fitness in Covington and a regular fitness columnist for the NKyTribune.