Dr. Mary Shea
University of Kentucky
The back-to-school season can bring a mix of feelings — excitement to see friends and get back into a routine, worries about grades and how students will do this year, or sadness about the end of summer.
With that mix of feelings, the first month back to school can be a challenge, especially for students with mental health difficulties. Here are some tips for easing the transition for students of all ages:
Ask them how they’re feeling. The start of the school year can bring a lot of uncertainty, especially if your kids are starting at a new school. A new building, new teachers, new friends — along with more challenging schoolwork — can trigger anxious feelings. Ask your child how they’re feeling about the upcoming school year. If they’re nervous, validate their feelings and let them know you’re available if they need help. As a parent, it’s natural to want to help them solve every problem, but sometimes they just need a sympathetic ear.
Set expectations. Kids often don’t understand that school is their job and that they have to go. Regular attendance not only keeps them on track academically, but having a steady, predictable routine can lower stress and anxiety. This includes establishing a consistent bedtime. Set your kids up for success by limiting the use of devices in the evening, establishing a firm “lights out” time and setting alarms in the morning.
Communicate with teachers and staff. Does your child consistently refuse to go to school? Do they call you as soon as they get there, asking you to come get them? Every child goes through phases when they simply don’t want to go to school, but sometimes there can be a deeper reason. Keeping in regular contact with your child’s teacher can help identify behavior that you aren’t seeing at home. Are they engaged in class, or are they withdrawn? Are they having problems with their friends, or do the teachers suspect they are being bullied? Children are happier, more engaged and do better academically when there are positive, productive parent-teacher relationships.
Model good habits and routines. Success at school starts at home; demonstrating healthy habits yourself is the easiest way to help kids get into the groove of the school year. This includes monitoring your own screen time and use of social media, going to bed early, making healthy food choices and incorporating physical activity daily. One of the most important skills a child can learn is how to handle and resolve conflict. Children watch and learn from how you communicate with teachers, other parents and members of your community. By modeling patience, consistency and healthy coping skills, parents can help children feel more confident and prepared for the year ahead.
Every school year brings new routines, challenges and opportunities to grow. With support at home and strong communication with school, children can start the year feeling more secure, confident and ready to succeed.
Dr. Mary Shea, Ph.D. is a pediatric psychologist at Golisano Children’s at University of Kentucky.